It’s ‘Time to Talk’: How to support employees who are struggling

R U OK? Day blog 2025 main image of abstract silhouette with thoughts and chats surrounding head

At a glance:

The silence barrier: Approximately one in four UK adults experience a mental health problem each year, yet the stigma around workplace disclosure remains a primary obstacle to early intervention
The manager influence: Research indicates that managers have as much impact on an employee’s mental health as their partner, making the quality of leadership check-ins critical
The cost of delay: Poor mental health costs UK employers approximately £56 billion annually, driven largely by presenteeism and avoidable long-term absenteeism
Clinical triage: Effective support may require moving beyond informal chats to clinical pathways that provide 24/7 access to registered health professionals

A single conversation can change the trajectory of an employee’s mental health.

As Time to Talk Day approaches on 5 February, it serves as a critical reminder that checking in with your team is a foundational part of building a resilient workforce. Often as a leader, you are the first to notice the subtle signs of struggle. Whether that’s due to a drop in engagement, unusual frustration or a withdrawal from team dynamics.

The good news is, you don’t need to be a counsellor or have all the answers. What matters most is being the one to take that first step: taking the time to talk and listening without judgment.

However, when an employee admits they are struggling, your role shifts from peer support to guiding them toward professional care. Here’s how to navigate that moment with confidence.

Disclaimer: The information contained in this article and on this website is general information only and does not constitute legal advice. Although all efforts have been made to ensure the accuracy and currency of the information presented, Sonder takes no responsibility for any errors or omissions presented. Please contact a legal representative for individual advice.

What UK data tells us about workplace mental health

For many employees, admitting they are struggling is an incredibly difficult step. In fact, 51% of UK employees say they would feel uncomfortable or very uncomfortable disclosing poor mental health. This means that if someone does open up to you, it has likely taken them significant courage, and your response may be a critical moment for their trust in the organisation.

Research shows that managers hold enormous influence over how people experience their wellbeing at work. In fact, a manager’s impact on an employee’s mental health is on par with that of a spouse (69%), and is significantly higher than that of a doctor (51%) or therapist (41%).

This gap highlights that a good working relationship is not always enough. Employees need to feel confident that if they say, “I’m not okay,” their manager will handle that moment with clinical sensitivity and empathy.

How to hold space without trying to ‘fix’ the problem

It is natural to want to “fix” things as soon as someone shares a struggle. However, in the initial stages of a disclosure, what a person needs is to be seen and heard.

Use this checklist to create a safe, supportive environment as an immediate response.

✅	Avoid rushing solutions	Jumping in too quickly with solutions can stop a person from fully exploring their thoughts, unintentionally minimise their experience, and even obscure the root of the issue. Taking the time to listen, acknowledge, and validate what they’re going through can be far more supportive than offering advice right away.
✅	Listen without judgment	During these conversations, be sure to give someone your full attention and let them speak without interruption or evaluation. Meaningful listening also requires you to get comfortable with silence — giving them space to gather their own thoughts without input, whilst showing you’re truly present. Gentle cues like “I see” or “mhmm” can reassure them you’re listening without judgment.
✅	Stay present in the moment	Make time for an uninterrupted conversation, free from calls, notifications, and watching the clock. Even small disruptions can make someone in a vulnerable situation feel unseen and close off. Being fully present builds the psychological safety required for a person to open up without feeling rushed.
✅	Acknowledge their trust	When someone opens up, reassure them that their words are confidential and respect that trust by protecting their information. This doesn’t mean you need to act as an ongoing “accidental counsellor” — rather, you can be a trusted confidant and a first point of contact to help connect them with a listening ear, followed by the right support if needed.

Common pitfalls to avoid during mental health conversations

Even with the best intentions, it is easy to make mistakes that shut down a conversation. Be mindful of these common pitfalls.

❌	Minimising their experience	Sometimes, in an attempt to help, we may try to reassure someone that it’s “not such a big deal.” Even with good intentions, this can make them feel misunderstood, dismissed, or as if there’s something wrong with them. Everyone’s emotions are valid, and it’s not up to us to judge their significance. Instead, lean on listening statements like: “I hear you,” “That sounds really hard,” “It’s understandable you feel that way,” or “What you’re feeling is valid.”
❌	Offering unsolicited advice	Many well-meaning people offer advice, thinking they are helping, but it can often be received very differently. Giving advice unasked can feel condescending, like criticism, or take away their sense of autonomy. We all value having control over our own lives, which is why it’s important not to assume we know better. Instead, focus on listening and asking open-ended questions that help them remain actively engaged in a conversation about themselves.
❌	Making it about your own experiences	While it can feel like a good way to relate, sharing your own story can sometimes shift the focus away from the person who is struggling. Even with the best intentions, it may discourage them from staying vulnerable. Instead, ask thoughtful questions like: “How have things been since then?” or “What’s been the hardest part for you?” This keeps the conversation centered on them and gives them the space to explore what matters most.
❌	Promising confidentiality you can’t keep	Building trust means being honest about your limits. If a conversation requires involving your manager, HR, or mandatory reporting (for example, if there are concerns about self-harm), explain this gently and clearly. Let them know what will remain confidential and why additional support may be needed. Transparency helps maintain trust while ensuring they get the help they need.

Practical steps for connecting employees to additional support

Once you’ve given someone the space to share openly, listened without judgment, and shown that you are fully present, you can gently guide the conversation toward practical support.

Again, the aim is not to “fix” everything, but to help them access the resources and reassurance they need.

Here are four practical steps to take:

Ask what they need right now: Start by checking in with them directly. Simple questions like “What would be most helpful for you right now?” or “How can I support you today?” put the focus on their needs and give them agency.
Connect them to professional resources: Ensure they know where to turn for expert help, whether that’s an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), an alternative like Sonder, counselling, or other support services. Offering guidance in a calm, non-pressuring way shows you care without overstepping.
Follow up consistently: Support doesn’t end after one conversation. Regular check-ins, whether brief messages or in-person catch-ups, demonstrate that you genuinely care about their wellbeing and are there for ongoing support.
Know when to escalate: Some situations may require additional support, such as HR involvement or mandatory reporting (for example, if there are concerns about self-harm). Be transparent about this if it arises, explaining why it’s necessary while reassuring them that their privacy is respected wherever possible.

**Raechel Gavin**
Chief People Officer at Sonder

Transitioning from peer support to professional clinical care

It is essential to recognise the limitations of peer support. You are a manager, not a doctor. Professional help is necessary if you notice:

Persistent mood swings: Unusual irritability or tearfulness that lasts beyond a single day.
Social withdrawal: Skipping meetings or coffee breaks and disengaging from the team.
Performance changes: Frequent mistakes or difficulty concentrating on tasks that were previously simple.

Sonder supports UK organisations, such as Southeastern Rail, during Time to Talk Day and beyond by removing the “access block” to mental health care.

By providing 24/7 access to registered health professionals in an average of 10 seconds, we ensure that when an employee does find the courage to talk, they are met with immediate clinical support, not a weeks-long waitlist.

Bridging the gap with support for your whole organisation

Time to Talk Day is a reminder that starting the conversation is only the start. In the UK, research shows that for every £1 spent on workplace mental health, employers see an average return of £5.30 through reduced absenteeism and higher productivity.

Sonder bridges the gap between that first question and ongoing care. We provide 24/7 access to qualified professionals, supporting not just the employee, but also the managers who are navigating these difficult conversations. By putting these systems in place, you build a culture where people feel truly seen, heard and supported every day, not just on Time to Talk Day.

brett ward — **Brett Ward**
Head of Member Safety at Sonder

Try Sonder today and experience how 24/7 access to safety experts, mental health and medical professionals can help you build a supported, healthy workforce.

Want to hear more on what to say when someone’s not okay? Watch Sonder’s webinar on “What to say when someone says they’re not OK” and hear from the experts.

If you or someone you know needs help in the UK, call: